This was hard for me to do, I didn't know where to start or how to begin, for so long I had been putting myself down and basically been so mean to myself.

My perception of loving yourself was being egotistical, being up yourself. This is not what I want, I want to love myself in a nurturing caring and loving way. So that's where I started.

I started off with simple things and as I started doing things for myself I listened to my thoughts. At first they were still negative however I would stop and change them into a positive thought. This was hard, I didn't know how to be nice to myself so I became grateful. I became grateful for what I did have instead of focusing on what I didn't.

I never used any nice moisturiser on my body, I didn't think it deserved it because I was fat. So I brought a nice one from the body shop and started using it. When I put it on I was gentle and rubbed it in instead of just slapping it on in a hurry. I would only do this once a week as a treat, then over time I realised I can do this everyday it only takes another 2 minutes to put it on. As I did this I became grateful for my body, for being healthy and being able to move freely to go where I want when I want.

I started to cook myself a nice healthy meal. I always hated to cook and only cooked when I had guests. I would put it on the plate like they do on TV and in restaurants to make it special. As time went on I really enjoyed it and that started me off in cooking healthier meals for myself.

I started to make an effort and look nice, spend a bit of time to put some make up on, or do my hair. In the department stores you can get free make up done. I did this and learnt how to put it on, what I liked and didn't. I personally like quick easy natural look, it now only takes a couple of minutes to put on. Same with my hair I just work with what I have instead of getting styles that take so long to do, I have worked with the curl in my hair and can do it in 5 mins or take a bit longer if I have time. As I was doing this I would look into my eyes, really look, it is said that the eyes are the window to the soul and I found that I started to recognise the person looking back at me. I started to see myself, my true self.

This brought up alot of emotion which made me ask the next question what am I feeling?