STATISTICS SAY THAT, ON AVERAGE, WE SPEAK ALMOST 5000 WORDS A DAY AND ALMOST 80% OF THIS IS SELF-TALK. THIS TRANSLATES TO AN AMAZING 4000 WORDS. AND... WAIT FOR IT... MOST OF THESE ARE LIES. HEIDI CORNELISSEN EXPLAINS..

Have you ever watched people "gossiping"? There's a feeling of secrecy and constant nattering, isn't there? Are you aware that you have this going on within you as well? Yes - you potentially lie (secretly) to yourself every day.

If you're like most of us, your 4000 words probably include a lot of judging, blaming and oh-so-many opinions on everything! Common examples may include "I can't do this", "I'll never be like him/her", "I'm too stupid/fat/ugly" or "No one will ever love or accept me". Sound familiar?

The good news is that this is nothing but your Ego talking.

Ego nags you to compete and compare and instils those feelings of failure. Your ‘ego' thoughts focus on things like winning; having to be right; making you feel scared and insecure and continually reminds you to be good and not "bad". Ego will cling and argue with you. For fear of being replaced with anything honest, positive and from the soul, it will hold on for dear life. How do we move away for living our ego?

William Whitecloud suggests "We tame the ego by softening our focus for survival. We allow ourselves to dream, to be open to ideas, images and intuitions that do not fit comfortably into our rational sense of order. This might include a vision of a life far removed from where we are now, full of all the things we wished we had..."

Dr Wayne Dyer asks the following question, "Ego is just an illusion - so ask yourself if you wish to continue to be controlled by something that isn't true, or would you rather look into what's real and never changes?

I took on this challenge and admittedly, it was especially hard for me. I was a financial manager for more than a decade. This involved meeting deadline upon deadline and target upon target. Success was measured on performance. I therefore also spent many hours mentoring, coaching and motivating my staff to meet their individual (and group) deadlines and targets as this was a reflection of me. It was always about getting things right and winning. Imagine someone like me learning to lose this "rational sense of order" and tame the ego, change her life and career! I did it however, and although I still use my strong planning and organisational skills today, they are no longer holding the reins of my life.

What I have learnt it that in order to tame the ego, we need to become aware of our self-talk. In every moment, we need to listen out for our beliefs and discover the lies. What do you believe you cannot be, do or have?

Next, it's important to find the source of that lie. Where did it originate from and does it still serve you? If it doesn't serve you at a soul level, get rid of it (roots and all). You have the choice to hold onto a belief or the dispose of it.

Now create a new garden within your mind filled with the truth, those new beliefs that you will hold to be true for you. Replace your 4000 words with 4000 flowers and plant your new flowers with deep roots of positive, self-empowering beliefs.

Remember though, as with all gardens, it takes time for flowers to bloom and they need constant attention, patience, love, endless gentleness and care.

Heidi Cornelissen is a certified life coach, has studied at the Personal Training Academy and is the owner of Completely Human. She is also a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and has 15 years experience in the business world. For more information, visit www.completelyhuman.com.