WE ARE ALL REACHING FOR MORE AND MORE HAPPINESS AND THE WAY TO ACHIEVE IT MAY BE SIMPLIER THAN YOU THINK. GAYNOR PARKE SUGGESTS HOW WE CAN ALL ACHIEVE HAPPINESS RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW

Happiness is the thing that connects everyone on the planet. All consciousness desires happiness. Happiness is a process that is never ending. What is happiness? Can it be boxed, can it be counted? Happiness is a feeling. Often we believe we will be happy when something you don't have arrives. I suggest it is not "the something" that makes us happy but the "feeling" we attach to that something that creates the happiness.

So if it really is the feeling we are chasing can we be happy without the physical manifestation of "the thing"? The answer is yes. Remember when you had that big holiday planned and you thought about it all the time. You planned it; you daydreamed about it you talked to your friends about it. All that made you happy. So you were happy before the trip arrived. It's our mental focus that makes us happy. You can worry about the trip. You can think about the safety factors, the possibility of disease, the possibility of lost luggage and so on. Or you can think about the excitement of seeing new things, the different cultures you will see and food you will taste. You decide to be happy every minute of every day.

Without being aware of it often we are constantly making choices that affect our happiness. We can choose our thoughts so therefore we can choose to be happier in any given moment. We can choose to feel frustrated and annoyed at the traffic in the morning or we can choose to relax and focus on our favorite music or remember what fun things we did on the weekend or will do on the weekend to come. We are choosing happiness in every moment of every day. Happiness in not outside of you it lies between your ears, in your mind. Your thoughts create the feeling of happiness. Happiness is a state of mind and can be achieved at will.

"All well and good," I hear some of you say, "but I have just lost my job and that scares me", or "my partner doesn't appreciate me and that makes me unhappy, how can I choose to be happy when that happens?" Even in those circumstances you can always be a little happier with the way you focus your thoughts. All subjects have two points of focus. That which feels good and that which feels bad. I have just lost my job is a statement of physical reality; how you choose to feel about it is your choice. It's how you choose to feel that determines your happiness not the statement of fact.

"I'm angry I lost my job. How will I find another way of paying my bills? I needed that job". These may be valid thoughts but they most certainly don't make you happy. They may even create a knot n your stomach, or give you a headache. So how do we find happiness when we see things around us that make us unhappy?

The answer, turn it around and find the relief of easier thoughts. "I know I have friends who love and support me so I am not alone. I can brainstorm with them if I can't think of anything to do right now. I am talented and resourceful so I know I can turn this situation around". It is thoughts of that nature that ease the tension in your mind and body. It's unrealistic to expect someone to journey from anger, and resentment immediately into happy thoughts of love and gratitude. It's like climbing a ladder; each step (or change of thought) takes you higher and higher toward more and more happiness. With depression and anger at the bottom of the ladder and love and appreciation at the top we are constantly moving up or down the ladder on countless topics. We may find it easy to be at the top of the ladder regarding relationships but we are at the bottom of the money ladder.

Start to reframe your thoughts. Rather than "I need", a thought that originates from a place of lack and fear, try "I allow" as this stems from a place of expectation and ease which is much closer to happiness.

I allow more money to flow to me
I allow my perfect job to become mine
I allow inspiration and clarity to flow easily to me
I allow, I allow, I allow

Replace worrying and fearful thoughts with thoughts of hope and ease and watch as those thoughts turn into expectation of success and joy which in turn become gratitude and happiness. Reach for a thought that feels a little bit better and you will find yourself experiencing more and more happiness everyday.

Gaynor Parke is an author, personal life coach, public speaker, facilitator and founder of Advanced Success Life Coaching. Her passion is to empower people to get from where they are to where they want to be. To find out more or to subscribe to her newsletter visit www.advancedsuccesslifecoaching.com.au

The source of the discomfort is always the best place to start and that source is our own thoughts. With thoughts of praise for our efforts, thoughts of faith in our ability to create new opportunities even though we can't see them right now, with thoughts of appreciation for self and things around us we can create happiness and begin to climb the ladder.

It is from this new step up the emotional ladder that you allow yourself to once again feel happy. Happier thoughts bring a feeling of happiness. No one every feels happy when they are depressed or angry. You become happier with better feeling thoughts.

The animal that is injured will be happier when it is well. The baby who is hungry will be happier when it is fed, the homeless will be happier with shelter the millionaire will be happier when his new business takes off, the artist, the mother, the student, we are all in continual flux and believe there is something more that will make us happier. Even the monk who chooses solitude and prayer wants water, food and peace. We are all designed to want.

Allow happiness to show up in your life.

These are words of ease and expectation rather than fear of not having. The place of love, gratitude and ease is the birth place of things wanted whereas fear, anger and blame is the birthplace of all things unwanted. Focus your thoughts in the direction you want to go and watch how your happiness increase first with your happy feeling o the expectation of those things you want and eventually the physical manifestation of those things.

Happiness is in the detail of life. Most of us often associate it with all the big things. I want the new car and I will be happier. I want the perfect mate; I want money to pay the bills. Happiness is certainly these things but to allow these things to show up in our lives we need to attend to the details first. Our attention in any given moment will determine our level of happiness.

No matter what life is bringing you there is always room for more happiness. It's your point of focus that will determine your degree of happiness.

Haven't you every known someone who has more than you who is unhappy? Haven't you wondered why they are complaining? "If I was in his position I would be happy" may have been your response to his situation. This is quite valid because different things make different people happy

WHEN MAKING CHOICES IN LIFE MANY OF US ARE CONFLICTED BY WHAT WE ‘SHOULD' DO AND WHAT WE TRULY BELIEVE IS BEST FOR US. GAYNOR PARKE SUGGESTS ELIMINATING ‘SHOULD' FOR A HAPPIER YOU.
We have endless choices but I feel the most damaging choice we make is to be swayed by the big ‘S' word. It originates in the mind rather than in the heart so there's a clue that it might not be the best choice. Heart choices come from a place of wellbeing, from a place of connection to your highest good. More often than not we are continually making choices between a head choice and a heart choice. The big ‘S' word is ‘should'. "I should get into work early to appear highly productive", "I should do what my partner expects", "I should volunteer for that project..." sound familiar?
The word ‘should' immediately puts us in a place of negativity and all choices made from that place do not serve our best interest. I believe the feeling the word ‘should' evokes is very destructive. It conjures guilt and restriction and resentment, all of which are strong negative emotions. These negative emotions develop patterns within us that prevent inspiration and all that is good from flowing to us.
It is the choices we make on a continual basis every day that sculpt our world. When you make choices from a place of a loving, giving, open-heart space, you allow your world to reflect that back to you. Likewise, the opposite will occur. Negative, restrictive thought patterns will attract experiences of that nature. This is a world of attraction and you will get what you focus on.
So how do you choose between two things when you don't want either of them? This is when you call on your understanding of consequences to help. You can turn all choices around to come from a place of ‘I choose', rather than ‘I feel forced', which is what ‘should' is all about. When you understand that you are making the choice and you are not being forced by anyone, you realise that you are acting from an empowered place that is open to great potential for good things to happen.
Here's an example of how to eliminate a ‘should'. Consider you have two choices, but either one will make someone unhappy. The trick is to choose the one you feel makes you feel the best. There are always consequences of our actions so choose the decision that has the consequences you feel you can best live with.
Your dialogue might go something like this:
"I feel obligated to do ‘X' but if I do this I will be totally miserable and the whole event will be a disaster. If I don't do ‘X' then the other person will feel bad but I will feel relief. I will feel upset for making the other person feel bad but my sense of relief of not doing ‘X' will outweigh my sadness."
Or
"I don't want to do ‘X', but if I do ‘X' the other person will feel bad and this will hurt me more than if I did ‘X', so I choose to do ‘X'."
On the surface it may appear that you feel you have no choice but that is never the case. Many decisions may seem illogical and inappropriate when you start honouring what