JUDGMENT IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST KILLERS OF HAPPINESS. THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS IS A CONTINUOUS JOURNEY AND THERE ARE A NUMBER OF FACTORS THAT DIMINISH AND EVEN DESTROY OUR HAPPINESS IF WE FOCUS ON THEM. THERE IS HOWEVER ONE FORM OF JUDGMENT I BELIEVE THAT CAN SERVE US AND HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.

Everyday you have the choice to look at something or someone and judge it something that you like or dislike. If you find yourself continually complaining, or blaming, or being critical how can you be happy? Judgment of paves the way for unhappiness. Appreciation on the other hand creates feelings of happiness. Yes, it can certainly be challenging sometimes to find things to appreciate about some people, places or events but it is my personal experiences that the more you practice looking for things to focus on that make you feel good, the easier it becomes.

Have you noticed how our lives are structure around judgment? "How were your sales this month? Did you reach your target? Who is the better swimmer at the Olympics? Our actions are compared to expectations or actions of another and judged as good or bad. Judgment is all around. If we could relinquish our tight grip on the need for judgment we would be much happier people.

So is there a place for our habit of judging? I believe the answer is yes. However, I feel that the only judgment that helps us create more joy in our lives is to judge our own feelings. To ask the question "does what I am feeling right now feel good"? If the answer is yes, then you must be thinking thoughts that are pleasing to you and feeling some form of happiness. If that answer is no, then you must be thinking thoughts that are creating unhappiness. Check in with yourself and "feel" your feelings. If you would like to increase your happiness level, attend to your thoughts and change your focus. Has something got your attention and is evoking fearful, unsettled, apprehensive thoughts? If so you won't be feeling happy, joyful or relaxed. Your body and your feelings are indicators of what you are thinking so take note and adjust your thoughts if necessary.

Finding it hard to take your focus away from the judgment of others or harsh self judgment? Here is a simple tip to help you step back, refocus on your path to happiness.

• Focus on the picture in your wallet or on your desk. You've seen it a thousand times but do you really look at it? If it's a picture of loved ones do you appreciate each face in the picture, reminding yourself how much you love them and all the fun times you have had together? Do you see these things when you take the time to really look at them? When things are tough take a good long look at their photos and see the people in them for the loving supportive people they are and your focus, energy and heart rate will change. You will find a degree of happiness just by remembering someone who touches your heart.

Is it a picture of a place you have visited or would like to visit? Is it an inspirational quote? Is it a souvenir or something that brings a smile to your face? Whatever it is (if you don't have anything I suggest you get something that makes you smile) take the time to really connect with it and imagine the people or the palaces. Distract yourself from worry and fear and connect to happiness and feel it ease your stress.

You don't have to be a little ray of sunshine every minute of every day but by taking time to shift your focus from what is making you unhappy to that which makes you happy you can create much more happiness in your life.

From the words of the famous doctor Patch Adams "There is a value to everyone in your decision to live a life of joy". The rewards of happiness are too numerous to count but they certainly extend to physical, emotional and mental benefits. You are the only one living in your skin therefore you are the best judge of what makes you happy. It is those among us who disregard the opinions of others and seek their own road to happiness that can find themselves enjoying more happiness. Trying to fit into someone else's idea of happiness can have you running in circles and end up with nobody being happy. Focus on happiness not the lack of happiness for what you focus on increases.

Today I leave you with this thought to ponder. I believe happiness is love. Be it love of others, things, places, work, God or self. When you are in a place of love, you are happy, therefore happiness is love. Be more loving, give up judgment that doesn't serve you and watch love return to you and in turn you will experience much more happiness.

Gaynor Parke is an author, founder of Advanced Success Life Coaching and photographer. Her passion is to assist people to find their personal version of happiness as it is from that place, she says, success in all things flows. To find out more or to subscribe to her newsletter visit www.advancedsuccesslifecoaching.com.au