DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU'VE RUN OUT OF JUICE? DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SO ‘BUSY' YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO CHECK THAT YOU'RE BUSY DOING THE RIGHT THINGS FOR YOU? REFLECT ON YOUR JOURNEY AND SEE HOW YOU CAN IMPROVE YOUR PERFORMANCE, BOTH DAY-TO-DAY AND IN THE LONG-TERM.

"I've cancelled my appointment with my relationship counsellor this month" is what my best friend said to me this week. When I asked why, she said she was too busy with work, she had her sister's hens night to plan for and she didn't have a car as it was getting serviced. A busy week, right? She'd be forgiven for crossing what's sometimes considered an "unessential" off the list. But she was going to a counsellor on a regular basis to discuss with her counsellor how to iron out some pressing problems in her relationship and she was really enjoying the process. So at what point do we start realising that unless we put our inner worlds at the top of the list, everything else can (and often will) suffer? Is it a good thing to put her relationship growth on hold?

It's my belief that while it is an advantageous and smart move to give your inner self the same maintenance, care and attention as you would give your car, many of us don't. We fill our time up with more ‘life' than ever before but are we really living if we don't look under the bonnet now and then? Sometimes, like my friend, your inner navigation system needs an outsider (e.g. a counsellor, coach, mentor, best friend) to help you get back in touch with how it works. Sometimes all you need is some time and space from your busy life to reflect and recharge the battery. To check your map and see if you're on track or to review the terrain and realise that every road has bumps, twists and turns.

Looking after your emotional self is the most important job you can do. Without it, everything else will only perform at a sub-standard level, just ticking along. Just as your car needs a tune-up now and then for regular maintenance, so do you.

I often like to think of us as being a bit like cars. There are many different models and sizes, colours and shapes. Different models appeal to different people and every car on the road is driving somewhere new every day. It doesn't matter if it's the latest model, shiny and new or a well-used and trusted machine. The ability to thrive depends on the maintenance.

So what about you....I'd like you to answer these questions, perhaps write them down.
• What sort of car are you?
• How do you keep on track?
• What does it take for you to be able to continually travel, day in, day out? Do you drive better with passengers or alone?
• What sort of fuel do you need? Identify three types.
• How regularly do you stop to fill up? Are you stopping often enough?
• When do you feel like you're zipping along in the best way, weaving in and out of traffic effortlessly? How are you doing this? What's working well for you?
• Where are you going on your daily journey and are you planning any big adventures soon? If so, what do you need to make sure it's a happy and successful one?

If you feel like your engine has been running a little rough lately, pull over. Is there something you could be doing differently? Perhaps you could book yourself a massage, a walk with a friend, a trip to the beach or a counselling session. Are there things you have thought of doing that you're putting off because "they're not important". You know this translates as "I'm not important enough" but you are! Write down three things you are going to do in the next month to illustrate that you are important.

So I asked my friend whether she would be able to complete her busy week in a better state if she re-booked her appointment and she said "Of course, you know I feel ten times lighter every time I go!" so all I did was ask her "Well, what are you waiting for?" and she picked up her mobile immediately to call the counsellor back.
After all, it's smart to realise that to keep humming along happily, get that regular tune-up with your inner mechanic, however that looks for you.

* This column will be a fortnightly bite of goodness for your emotional selves, a little ‘spritzer' for your heart and soul. If you would have a suggestion, please email me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Jacqui Manning is an expert in helping you alleviate inner stress and anxiety and to allow more positive energy to enter your life at work and home. She is a psychologist and the co-director of Mind Advantage (www.mindadvantage.com.au).