Following Valentine's Day I thought it would be great to write about the love languages (or recognition) of your team members. Have you ever heard about love strategies? From a Neuro linguistic Programming perspective we all like to be shown love in different ways. This can also map across to our relationships in general with our co-workers, managers and direct reports.

It has been said that we recognise our team members in the way that we would like to be recognised. Imagine how much more you would get out of your team if they were rewarded and recognised in the way that motivated them! For me, spending time with my manager or co-workers demonstrates to me that I am a valued member of the team. A financial reward (as helpful as that might be!) would have a negative impact on me and my ability to keep motivated in an organisation. So, what are these strategies you may be asking?

The strategies include:

1. Gifts
2. Spoken words
3. Team Time
4. Act of service
5. Physical touch

Gifts
A well thought out gift can be treasured for a very long time! It has been said that there is no gift quite like a present. Can you recall a gift that has had meaning for you? On the other hand a badly chosen gift may destroy any recognition or positive intention. A gift is exactly as it sounds - a present for someone to unwrap to recognise or reward them. You would choose a gift that you know that the receiver would like. For example, one of my co-workers was into books so a great gift would be a book. I think you get where I am going with this one!

Spoken Words
If a person likes to be rewarded or recognised through words it would be as easy as telling the person what a great job that they have done and how that has had a positive impact on the team. This one is cheap and inexpensive to implement - if they are doing a great job - tell them about it! This would be in contrast to not hearing or receiving any feedback in your role. For someone who values spoken words highly no discussion or talking would be really upsetting to them. For these members they like to "hear" that they are doing a great job.

Team Time
Time is precious! How much time do you spend with your team? If you spend time with your team members and they value time they will give you the world. For someone who values time and there is no time spent with them uninterrupted by customers, blackberries or urgent tasks they may eventually leave the business. In one on one time you can establish greater rapport and learn more about what's happening in their personal lives and how to support them so that you get the best out of them for you and the organisation. People who value team time like to "feel" that they are doing a great job.

Acts of Service
Acts of service show that you are a human being and not a machine in the workplace. Sometimes we can get caught up in doing our tasks that we forget that doing something for another can not only make you feel good but it is seen as showing that you care. For example, making them a coffee, running errands for them or attending a meeting in their absence are all demonstrations of acts of service. People who value acts of service like to "see" that they are doing a great job.

Physical Touch
With all of the legislation currently this strategy would not be relevant to the relationships in your workplace. Touching team members in the workplace could appear as totally inappropriate and I would recommend against it. People who value physical touch like to "feel" that they are doing a great job.

The bulk of people go to work and want to do a great job. Why not reward them for it when they do? Recognising and rewarding your team members in this way can lead to massive change. It's time for you to adopt a new approach and this may well give you the results that you are looking for.

How do you know how your team like to be recognised? Just ask them and I am sure they would be happy to tell you all about it.

Kelly Treloar is a Career Specialist and founder of Find Your Perfect Career - providing an opportunity for clients to explore their career options and take the necessary steps to make their goals a reality. Kelly also help clients with resume preparation, selection criteria and interview skills. For more information please email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it