The last article we explored what you need to consider when making the choice to fire a client.

This time around, we're looking at why a client might fire you and what your learning opportunities are. Getting fired by a client is one of the most important experiences any coach can have.

Reasons a client/coachee might fire you :

NOTE: These are they're perceptions of you...it doesn't mean it's true, but you do have a responsibility to pay attention to the perceptions others have of you because they believe you're capable of these things. That's the "truth" to be watching out for!

• You're not paying attention and attending to their needs.
• You're not working with their preferred learning style - you're focused more on your preferred coaching style.
• You're taking them in directions they don't want to go, or not ready for yet, even if they know it's the right thing to do.
• You're trying to get them to change in ways they don't want to.
• You're trying to get them to progress faster than they feel capable of.
• You're making them do too much homework.
• You're showing your disappointment that they're not making the progress you want them to make.
• You're not acknowledging what they're doing well and the progress they feel they're making and are proud of.
• You're making the sessions more about you than about them.
• You're acting more like a friend than a coach.
• You're not responding quickly enough to emails and phone calls.
• You're too expensive.
• You're not available the days/times they want.
• You're not solving their problems for them.
• You're making them change too much and their partner (or anyone else of influence) doesn't like it and is forcing them to stop the coaching.
• You're making them "too self-aware" and they're criticising themselves more than ever and it's your fault.
• You're not the right professional to be working with right now. Maybe there's another coach they've met that the resonate more with, or maybe they recognise they need to be working with a counsellor, business consultant, doctor or some other more appropriate professional.
• You don't get a reason for getting fired...they just disappear (and may not pay their final bill either).

The Learning Opportunities

• Have you had an appropriate up front conversation about what coaching is, isn't, how it works, the expectations of the coach, the expectations of the coachee, learning styles, the amount of homework might need to be agreed to, how to celebrate strengths, explore development areas, etc?
• Have you established an agreement at the beginning about how your relationship needs to work and how to communicate it if either party thinks the agreement isn't being honoured? This allows the client/coachee permission to always give you feedback AT THE TIME they feel what they're feeling.
• If you have the agreement in place from the beginning, are you checking in regularly to ensure everyone's still happy with the agreement and that the current performance is aligned with the agreement?
• Are you recognising that the client/coachee is simply sharing their perspective of the situation and that it's important to try to see it as they do even if you don't agree with all of it?
• How comfortable do you feel about discussing your performance in general?
• Are you receiving supervision and/or coach mentoring to assist you dealing with these issues as they arise?
• How comfortable are you with the notion that sometimes clients will not tell you the full truth about why they're leaving? You do need to consider how well you've set up the environment so that there is trust and honesty between you. But it's also important to recognise that sometimes clients leave because they feel they've let you down and their own fear/sadness gets in the way of being honest with you. You may have done all you can (professionally and ethically), but in the end, the client is responsible for ALL of their own choices, including whether they're honest with you or not.

The next issue of "Coach the Coach" will explore the challenges of when a client/coachee may be "too self focused" for their own good and possibly yours.

If there are any topics you'd like me to cover in this column, please feel invited to email me directly with your requests through my website (see link in bio).

Noel Posus is a master coach with 20+ years experience as a professional educator, coach and author. He won the prestigious inaugural "Coach of the Year" award (2008/2009), Finalist in the Coaching Business of the Year (2010) and is an ambassador/leader for the coaching industry. www.noelposus.com