If you don't already know about perceptual positions as one of your many coaching tools, I highly recommend you read this article and explore the subject more.

"Perceptual positions" is one of the most critical coaching frameworks to understand and to teach our clients. It is most often linked to the field of study known as Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).

This article explores what the foundation perceptual positions are, how they apply to you as a coach (or other helping professional) and to the individuals we assist (this is an essential life skills framework for all to understand).

1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th Perceptual Positions

1st - This is you thinking about a topic, experience, situation, problem or anything based on your needs, your history, feelings, values and view of the world. It is essentially, ‘all about you'.

2nd - This is you trying to see the topic, experience etc from another person's perspective. It's the walking, seeing, hearing, feeling, thinking, believing in "another person's shoes" so to speak.

3rd - This is you observing the situation from either a completely external position (neither 1st nor 2nd) and where you either have some history, beliefs, etc related to the topic or situation or you have no connection whatsoever but simply an impartial observer. 3rd is sometimes also referred to when looking at the situation from the perspective of a group of two or more.

4th - This is you seeing the entire system from all of the three perspectives above at the same time. From this perspective, you notice everything including how the entire system of relationships is working.

The Coach and Perceptual Positioning

1st - As the coach, you "should" NOT be in 1st as the coaching conversation needs to be about the client and their perception, not yours. Where you do have some 1st position insights you think could be useful to the client, you have to go into 2nd position with the client to test that and seek permission. Language: Statements beginning with "I".

2nd - This is a great place for you to be as a coach because you are entirely focused on trying to see the topic or situation as the coachee sees it, and your questions are solely focused on helping the client's perspective develop, evolve or simply come to light. Language: Questions such as "What do you want..."

3rd - This is also a highly useful place for you to be as the coach because you can see more accurately what's happening in the relationship (perspective of the group) as well as being the impartial observer who notices more than any single individual's perspective is noticing (1st or 2nd perspectives are still about a single individual). Language: Questions which include "us", "we" or "they".

4th - This is generally the best place for you to be as coach because you can be aware of every component of the coaching conversation at once and look for ways in which the "system" can improve. Language: All of the above blended as appropriate to the purpose/outcomes of the conversation.

The Coachee and Perceptual Positioning

1st - Most of the time the coachee is speaking from this perspective. It IS about them. Language: Statements beginning with "I".

2nd - This is also a useful perspective for the coachee to get into to try to step into the shoes of another person. You can ask them to imagine it from the other person's perspective and even to try to speak as the other person might if asked a particular question. Language: Would include the use of "He/She" or if speaking from that person's perspective, they would use "I".

3rd - This is an excellent perspective for the coachee to consider the needs of the group or relationship, or to try to see it as an objective external observer. Language: Would include "we" or "us" if referring to the group/relationship or "they" if as the external observer.

4th - This is the ultimate outcome, where the coachee can see all perspectives and how they relate to the system or the overall situation. This is the wisest of all perspectives. Language: All of the above blended as appropriate to the purpose/outcome of the conversation.

Resource

If you are interested in researching more on this or other NLP topics, check out John David Hoag's articles at www.nlpls.com. His site is a resource I refer to often.

The next issue of "Coach the Coach" will explore the Content-Process-Relationship (CPR) coaching model.

If there are any topics you'd like me to cover in this column, please feel invited to email me directly with your requests through my website (see link in bio).

Noel Posus is a master coach with 20+ years experience as a professional educator, coach and author. He won the prestigious "Coach of the Year" award in 2008 and 2009 and is an ambassador/leader for the coaching industry. www.noelposus.com