One of the most common questions I get from coaches is: "How do you coach a client around their goals when the ‘ethics' of their goals are in direct conflict with your own ethics, morals or values?"

This is a great question and potentially quite a tough one.

Here's the easy answer first...

• Your values and opinions have no relevance as your role is to support the client in whatever they want. You do have the responsibility though of asking them about their values, ethical and moral opinions and feelings. If necessary, you can challenge them if you feel there is a "common sense" reason to do so, but you have to make sure it's not just your version of common sense. Ask questions, but don't judge. Remember to follow the Code of Ethics related to your professional standing as a coach (e.g. ICF, ANZI Coaching, or others...)!

How, here's the slightly more complicated (but useful) way of looking a this...

• It is important to know what your values, beliefs, ethics and morals are. It's always a good idea to do your own exercises on these areas and have a personal sense of clarity.
• It can also be quite useful for you to set up policies for your coaching business which include your ethics as a coach. Promote these to your clients, including if there are any particular ethics of yours which you need to disclose to your clients. For example, I have certain policies about not working with clients where their goals relate to illegal activity.
• Remember that you have a professional responsibility to work with a supervisor and/or mentor to discuss moral sensitivity and reasoning questions in the work you do. This can be an ideal opportunity to discuss your concerns with your supervisor and develop a strategy that relates to how you support your client and/or discuss the situation with your client before agreeing to further support.
• Some ethical situations can be fairly minor and they are simply a matter of negotiation. For example, you may have an ethical framework about when and how bills are paid, and your client may have a different opinion. This is a commercial negotiation discussion that needs to happen and although ethics influence it, it relates more to the contract. Be clear about how your ethics influence your contractual terms and conditions.
• As mentioned in the quick response, you do have a responsibility to challenge your client's viewpoints from time to time where it is in the best interest of the client. If you believe that the client's goals may be unethical, you do have a responsibility to share your questions with your clients and listen respectfully to their point of view. You may actually gain so much insight that you see the a completely different ethical scenario than you did with your initial perspective.
• Finally, if you know for certain that your own personal beliefs are going to "get in the way" of appropriately and professionally coaching your client, you have a responsibility to discuss this with your client and negotiate how to end the coaching relationship. You may find that in such situations you're also not comfortable making a referral to another coach because that might send the message that another coach will be willing to take an unethical approach. This is a tricky conversation to have potentially and it is worth the investment to get supervision before attempting this.

One of the most common topics for such ethically-based conversations I've come across in all these years is the concept of "work ethic" where the coach believes the client is not demonstrating an appropriate level of "work ethic in practice" in their career.

In such a situation, it could be very useful to work with the client to get them to define their "Personal Work Ethic and Policies". This can be fieldwork that they work on with you over a number of sessions. Once the client has established their own policy, then as they make decisions about how to apply themselves at work, you as their coach can ask the question, "How does this work with your policy that you've written?" Then, it's more about the client's ethics than yours as their benchmark was established by them, not forced upon by you.

The next issue of "Coach the Coach" will look at the concept of "Coming Out" as a Life Coach, what this means and how you can do it.

If there are any topics you'd like me to cover in this column, please feel invited to email me directly with your requests through my website (see link in bio).

Noel Posus is a master coach with 20+ years experience as a professional educator, coach and author. He won the prestigious inaugural "Coach of the Year" award (2008/2009), Finalist in the Coaching Business of the Year (2010) and is an ambassador/leader for the coaching industry. www.noelposus.com