Do you find yourself having endless arguments in your relationship and don't know why? In this article, I discuss the seven common ways to ring the death knell to any relationship, and assist you to identify and address your own unwanted behaviours.

Pride
Does your ego or your pride prevent you from acknowledging your partner and their success? Are you overly consumed by your own importance or appearance and neglect your partner in the process? Do you refuse to admit when you are in the wrong? Or do you refuse to seek help when you need it, then resent your partner for it?

If these sound familiar, you need to learn to let go of the ego and embrace humility. Start to acknowledge and appreciate the little things your partner does. Be prepared to concede when you are in the wrong. Swallow your pride and ask for help occasionally. This may just be the sign your partner needs to know to support you.

Wrath
Have your past relationship break ups left you feeling angry, bitter and vengeful? Are you having thoughts of revenge and getting back at your partner or ex for how they treated you? Do you over react to your partner with anger?

Holding onto these past emotions will only feed the cycle in your current and future relationships. Instead, stop the blame game and take responsibility for how you contributed to those relationships. Accept responsibility for and let go of your past emotions and beliefs around wanting to get back at others for what they did or did not do.

Lust
Do you excessively think about or physically desire someone else while in a relationship with your partner? Are you overly attracted to someone other than your current partner? Have your been cheating on your partner with your thoughts, emotions or behaviours?

If you are sending out mixed messages to your partner they will pick up your indecisiveness or split focus, which can lead to tension or arguments. You need to address any beliefs around being indecisive (eg. fear of making the wrong decision, fear of being hurt or hurting others, fear of commitment, etc.). Then once you make a decision to fully commit to a partner, strengthen the attraction that you feel towards that partner and eliminate the inappropriate attraction you feel for anyone else.

Gluttony
Do you strive to keep up appearances to your family and friends and overextend yourself financially? Have you been wasting things unnecessarily? Are you too needy towards your partner?

This can especially be an issue in relationships where one partner was brought up to believe "waste not want not", while the other did not value things as much as they were growing up. Clearly communicate your priorities around finances and waste. Reach some agreements that accommodate both partners' needs and then respect these. If you are too needy or desperate for love and attention, address these issues otherwise you may push your partner away with your needy behaviour.

Sloth
Are you or your partner not using your talents fully? Is your partner's "laziness" annoying or frustrating you? When one partner is driven to pursue their passion and uses their talents fully and the other partner is not, it can lead to frustration for both partners.

Open and honest communication about each partner's goals, values and priorities is important. If your and your partner's goals and values are different, then at least by understanding and agreeing to respect the differences, you can work with the differences to make the relationship work. If one partner is messy and another is tidy, the latter can learn how to best motivate the former to tidy up occasionally.

Envy
Are you envious or your partner's success and happiness? Do you resent your partner for the lifestyle they have? Is the green eyed monster causing agreements in your relationship?
Often what we envy in our partner we lack in ourselves, hence we desire it. If you desire something your partner has and you resent them for it or wish that they no longer had it, look at your own beliefs. Do you believe that you are deserving/worthy of having success and what you want? Are you resentful of yourself for not doing the things you want to do? Let go of these beliefs and the emotions of envy and resentment, and learn to celebrate your own and your partner's successes.

Greed
Does greed prevent you from sharing your time, wealth and success with your partner? Are you selfishly monopolising your partner's time and affection without sharing your time and affection with your partner in return?

Look at your beliefs around abundance and scarcity, and your priorities in life. Address any beliefs around scarcity, fear and sharing so that you appropriately share your thoughts, feelings and dreams with your partner. Sit down and discuss your values, priorities and beliefs with your partner. Notice the common ground and any differences. Then agree on how you will effectively work with the differences.

You will find many useful tips and strategies on how to specifically address the above in my other articles on emPOWERonline. By implementing these, you will be able to successfully turn these 7 deadly relationship sins into a harmonious and loving long term relationship.

Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is the founder of award-winning company Qt, an NLP Trainer, who holds a PhD in Clinical Hypnotherapy and a BEc. She is an author, speaker and the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques. For more techniques on improving your relationships and for your FREE gifts, visit www.qttransformation.com

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