When was the last time you had a date? Is stress, worry or anxiety preventing you from dating again? Are you worried about having another bad dating experience? Would you like to really look forward to your next date instead?

Perhaps one of your goals for this year is to be in a fulfilling relationship, which means you may need to start dating and meeting some new people. If you are feeling anxious about your next date, you are probably thinking about all the possible things that could go wrong eg. being shy, saying the wrong thing, what if you don't "click" with the other person and the date is boring, being judged/criticised by the other person, etc.

Anxiety is an emotion and when we feel anxious we are thinking about what we don't want and what could go wrong. Have you ever thought about something going wrong on a date, then when it happened you said "I knew it was going to happen"? It became a self fulfilling prophesy because it has been proven scientifically that your mind is unable to differentiate between what you vividly image and what is real. Therefore, regardless of whether you focus on what you want or what you don't want to happen on a date, you will attract it.

Enjoying Your Next Date

The best way to enjoy your date is to focus on what is within your control. There are three things that you can personally control on a date - how you think, feel and act (including how you respond to and influence the person on the date with you). If you focus on other people and events or circumstances beyond your control, you may get frustrated. When you focus on what is within your control, you feel happier and more in charge.

Here is a powerful technique to help you to focus on what you want and on what is within your control so that you enjoy your next date more.

1. With your eyes closed, think about your next date - where, when and with whom it will be.
2. Be clear about your outcome for that date. Is it the first date, second or subsequent date? What would you like to achieve on that date eg. better get to know the other person through conversation, build deeper emotional connection with them. etc?
3. Imagine a movie screen in front of you and see yourself in the movie like an actor/actress on that future date with the other person and at the location of your date.
4. As you watch the movie, see that date turn out exactly as you would like it to be, hear the conversations you would like to hear and feel exactly how you would like to feel. Make sure you focus on what is within your control on that date so that you easily achieve your outcome for that date.
5. Notice how you now feel better about that date when you focus on what you want, and how you now look forward to it. Open your eyes feeling good about your date.

Highly successful people and athletes use this technique to visualise a successful event or game. Research shows those athletes who visualise rehearsing and having a successful game do as well on game day as do athletes who have physically rehearsed and practiced prior to the game! If you would like your next date to be a winning one, do what successful people do - mentally rehearse success to attract success.

If after visualising a successful date you have any self doubts or fears from the past about dating or starting a new relationship, it is important to address those so that they stop sabotaging your success and so that you can attract the relationship that you desire.

Imagine how much better you will feel by focusing on what you want and the difference that this will make to your next date. In our next article, we will share an effective technique for having instant confidence in relationships, which you can also use for even more successful dates.

Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is the founder of award-winning company Qt, an NLP Trainer, who holds a PhD in Clinical Hypnotherapy and a BEc. She is an author, speaker and the creator of breakthrough behavioural change techniques. For more techniques on improving your relationships and for your FREE gifts, visit www.qttransformation.com