Part of my role in running 'Romance Me' is to be looking out for good clean information about sexual health. A lot of what I talk about is based on experience, talking with real couples and plenty of reading. But I also love to include medical and scientific facts for all those of you who like to get into the details. It is important that what we teach through Romance Me is the truth and is relevant to real couples and the issues they face.

I know, without a doubt that an enjoyable REGULAR sex life is necessary for a healthy mind, body and a blissful marriage. But...I also recognise that some couples are dealing with spouses that aren't so convinced. You see there are so many things in our life that use up our 24 hours each day. Many of them are under public scrutiny! Eg. Looking after your children, keeping the grass mowed out the front, your career etc etc. They are all in the public eye, but the things that happen behind closed doors, our sex life, can become very neglected because we don't talk about it, nobody knows you aren't doing it, and the pressures of getting everything else right overpowers the time and energy it takes to get intimate with our spouse!

Would things be different if your sex life was on display, if we talked about it openly? I'm not saying that should be the case by the way, but I think it might just change the importance we place on it, wouldn't it?

So let's see what the Doctor says!

I came across an interview of Dr. Rostislav Beleda, she is a respected sexual health specialist. Dr. Rostislav, through her Scientific research declares much of what we have been talking about through our Romance Me Events and these articles. ABSTINANCE from sexual activity is unhealthy, not only for your marriage, but emotionally as well. But she goes on to say more. Your PHYSICAL and MORAL health can be also be badly affected (Yes your morals!) Read on. I plucked out a nice little chunk of her report that I found very interesting. Perhaps you can read it out to your spouse for consideration.

"There is a great deal of evidence showing that sexual life positively affects human health?

Medical professionals claim that sexual activity reduces the risk of heart diseases, rejuvenates the body, burns extra calories, helps the body to produce natural pain killers and substances that improve teeth condition, strengthen the immune system, trains the prostate, and improves our sense of smell.

At the same time, sexual abstinence negatively affects sperm motility; increases the risk of prostatitis and may cause problems with erection. If we look at the effect of sexual abstinence in its entirety, we can notice that apart from the positive effect of using extra energy for something else, it can be harmful. There are certain changes that cause various neurotic disorders explained by a heightened sex drive, as well as a possibility of developing an inclination for perversion". People with a strong sex drive and high excitability can abstain from sex for a limited time only. They may develop emotional and sexual disorders, mostly sexual neurosis." In addition to psychological consequences of sexual abstinence, sexual function suffers. Men practicing abstinence may develop problems with erection and ejaculation. The level of consequences does depend on a person's age and length of abstinence. A 25-year old man with a strong sexual drive may find it difficult practicing abstinence for two weeks, but it will NOT affect his sexual function. At age 30-35 a few months of abstinence may actually cause premature ejaculation and problems with erection. Usually these problems go away once sexual activity becomes regular again. For men over 40 it may require treatment. Men over 50 who abstain from sex for two to three months may lose their sexual function for ever..." Yes seriously!

So...basically...the doc is saying "use it or lose it." I remember years ago seeing a pair of men's undies that had that slogan across the front! Maybe we should start selling them at our Romance Me website! ;-)

I want to promote healthy blissful marriages by helping spouses understand the connection they have with each other and how important and fun sex can be... There is power in knowing information, but what has the power to transform relationships is the application of the information learned!!

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