Why are women so negative of their own body? Is it because they genuinely feel inadequate? Or perhaps that they think that others are judging them so they want to speak up first and say they look terrible. It is very hard to feel intimate without feeling sexy first!

We are constantly bombarded with images of beautiful women (and men) in the media. Every ad has someone gorgeous, slender, sexy and alluring. The advertising world knows this and does it on purpose. They want to sell a product so they associate an ‘appealing' image with that product to make us feel that we need what they are selling in order to look and feel that good.
We all know this yet we still fall into the same spiders web trap!

If you think about how few people there are in society who have that perfect look (ie models) but because we are constantly seeing them on TV, movies, billboards, movies, internet , on the way to work, at work and on the way back from work.....it goes on and on. It can seem like they are EVERYWHERE. But in reality they are only a tiny handful of the human population. (about 1 in every million I reckon! ;-)

If that's not enough to make you feel better about yourself wait I have more! This elite minority of the human race face tough reconstructions! ;o) The best makeup artists, who carefully place a truck load of products on their already beautiful faces! Than clever photographers, work their magic and finally, (if that is not enough) they are enhanced by another set of professional artists who perfect even the tiniest flaws digitally.

A couple of months ago Romance Me was at a women's expo. Our stand was right next to a Photography Company. I noticed women lining up all excited to be involved so I had to check it out!! What I found was that this company was running a competition "Cover Girl". I saw hundreds of women get their picture taken and then sit through the retouching of their own face on the computer. The photographer encouraged me to get one done, and my daughter wanted me to take the pictures so I did. Now, let me say that posing for the photos was fun, but what happened next was not. Without really asking if I was happy with my face, the digital artists put my face through the biggest reconstruction ever. I actually love my face as is but let me tell you after seeing what these people can do I have to admit I felt momentarily a little insecure. Maybe I did have too many wrinkles, maybe one eye is a little bigger than the other.... My daughter was not impressed with what they did. She said "Mummy you look beautiful naturally" and you know those simple words were enough for me to love my face again as is with the wrinkles and all the ‘imperfections' .

Think about it...look around, look at the REAL people in your life...people you work with, at the shopping center, while you pick the kids up from school, at the post office, these are the REAL people. But if you, watch a lot of TV and read many magazines, you probably see lots of ‘SPECIAL' impossibly beautiful people, leading you to believe that the average human looks something like an episode from the Bold and The Beautiful.

Making an effort to present yourself well is not a bad thing. In fact I strongly encourage it. But allowing these feelings to control how you do life can be a real negative. No one can tell you how to feel about yourself but you.
In a survey , over 90% of men rated a woman's ‘self-image' into the top 4 most important factors to being a great lover. That is, if the women felt sexy, felt beautiful and loved what they had, they were in most cases a wonderful lover. Do you know what would turn on your man like nothing else? A confident body image. A wife who loves her own skin and her sexuality.
I have friend who is a professional photographer and unlike the previous experience at the expo, I would recommend his studio to anyone! He was saying that the woman who come in for a Sensual Boudoir style session, often are shy, and feel insecure with parts of their bodies. They come in all shapes and sizes, large and curvy, to thin and slim. Big bottoms to no hips, little breasts, big breasts the whole range. It doesn't matter. Being sexy and feeling sensual is not about your body shape, it is about loving who you are and being sensual within yourself. Many of the woman after doing a shoot like that feel wonderfully confident again. They feel like a ‘real' woman with curves, and sexy smile lines and this new-found confidence makes its way into the bedroom to the delight of their husbands.

Some practical tips:

• Start going to dancing lessons, they are fun and they give you a workout without you realising it! Besides you may even learn some new moves, to show your man!!
• Speak positively about your body , to yourself and in front of others. You know secretly other women will admire you being so positive and it will also give them ‘the authority' to feel the same way about themselves.
• Compliment your friends about how they look. Look for beautiful things about them. And when you receive a compliment from a friend or your spouse, don't shrug it off. Instead maintain eye contact and say Thank you with a smile. Trust me you will feel so much better and it also shows respect to the other person.
• A tip from my photographer friend. When someone takes a photo of you, don't hide. Position your body so that your chest is on an angle to the camera with your face looking directly in. The easiest way is to put your weight on your back foot so your front shoulder becomes higher and lean your face slightly into it. And most of all smile! Don't hide your teeth, don't half smile. Just give a big beautiful smile. You may be surprised at the compliments you get (and say Thank you when you get them).

Check out www.facebook.com/boudoirimage to see the ladies who have discovered how beautiful they are in their own skin.

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