... not between the legs!!!

The are no shortages of books on foreplay, you will find them in every colour and shape possible, I should know, its quite funny actually, the look I get when I rock up with my arms full of FOREPLAY books at the counter of a book store, its hilarious. ;o) The importance of foreplay has been discussed in great details and some books are very descriptive, and while it is true that foreplay is very important physical preparation for genitalia intercourse, another important area that is often overlooked in sex Ed is the mental and emotional process and preparation for great sex.

Some men think of foreplay as ‘one way street' straight to the genitals, doing what he thinks is foreplay. I think we need to put in a ‘speed hump' on that one way street, and a big sign saying "SLOW DOWN". Most women are like ELECTRIC IRONS they need to be moved along more gently, men are like LIGHT BULBS, primarily quick to respond physically. Foreplay for women helps to lubricate the vagina gradually. Being too fast can be very painful and a turn-off.

Another big concern, in fact our No.1 complaint that women make is ‘I no longer feel desire'. And similarly women also fear that "their husband may not feel attracted to them anymore." and it almost always has nothing to do with what's going on between the sheets, but rather what's going on during the day.

There is a misconception out there that men are all about the physical touch (all men want is sex and more sex) and that women are the ones with all the heart and emotions. Ok, let's get this clear, hubbies do want sex and lots of it, but that is not all they want (I can hear some of you thinking, what... that's not enough?? ;o)

Men, like women need to be emotionally connected. In fact men love intimacy and a feeling of closeness. If for some reason you weren't getting along well during the day, the chances are he is also feeling disconnected and detached emotionally which can be a cause for some men to become disinterested in sex in the evening.

For women to return to some sort of intimacy, they need to resolve feelings of frustration and hurt that happened during the day, weeks or even months before!!!

Because we are exposed to such a big variety of ‘sexual scenarios 'by the media we carelessly and automatically think that great love making should become natural just as we see it on TV. Unfortunately what we see on TV distorts the truth about what sexual intimacy with your spouse should be like!

If you want to be in the right emotional frame of mind for love making, try turning the TV off and connect intimately and passionately by rediscovering each others' pleasure points. Think about how exciting it was when you visited for the first time a Theme Park full of rides, you could not wait to go on ALL of them. Well your spouse's body is a WONDERLAND, there are many places to visit and lots of rides to go on.

Try this fun technique... Simply decide to touch your spouses body as if it was the first time. You are allowed to touch anywhere you like. Think of it as a beautiful meal all laid out on a table awaiting you. Close your eyes and just touch, feel their skin, every little bump and mound. Run your hands through their hair and truly get into the sensory experience of it all. Take a deep breath and smell their skin and hair. You may just find this whole experience of discovery is what you need to get incredible aroused together.

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