DO YOU FEEL YOU ARE ALWAYS AT ODDS WITH A FAMILY MEMBER WHEN IT COMES TO HOW YOU SHOULD RAISE YOUR CHILD? IF SO, KATE FILMER HAS SOME USEFUL TACTICS TO SHOW YOU HOW YOU CAN OVERCOME THE INSULTS AND BEGIN TURNING THEM INTO PARENTAL PRAISE.

From the moment your child is born, you feel that they are the most unique and exquisite creature, in existence, on earth. As their parent, you are now endowed with the responsibility of being their protector, provider, teacher and best example for life. However, you are not the only one who feels this way. By bringing a baby into this world, you become bound to a whole new level of family. Because of your child's existence, these other people that surround you now, are joined to you forever. And they too feel, that this precious little being needs protection and the best examples that can be given. This, right here, is where things can get sticky, as a parent, what you feel is best for your child, may not be agreed upon by all.

Are your relationships with your extended family healthy and fulfilling? Or do the words, unhealthy and detrimental fit the description better? It is sad to say, but ever so often, children are the centre of so much pain. People unwittingly use them as leverage within their relationships to antagonise each other. Be it your partner, or their grandparents, aunts, and uncles, they all have been known to twist the arms of family, using the unconditional love of this child as their power.

We all have people in our lives that we just don't get along with. When it comes to extended family members, differences can be explosive, as everybody seems to have an opinion on how you should raise your child. When you see them, even if your initial intention is good, things can get out of control and you find yourself becoming distressed and bewildered as to what went wrong. The outcome, you go about blaming them for their hurtful banter and decide it is best for you and your child not to associate with them.

Hurt people hurt and so there is generally a deeper cause as to why they feel the need to put others down. However, you need to be accountable also, as there is a reason you are attracting it. We all get back what we put out, so really, what is it that you are unintentionally putting out there? You can't change others, you can only change yourself and if you adjust your focus, they may continue to put others down, however, it will no longer be you, as you will no longer be a vibrational match to it.

Step one, Protect your child - After the incident watch what you say around your child. Negative talk as in, "mummy is upset because grandpa said something mean to her", will send the message that grandpa is not who he seems and this will only serve to confuse and hurt your child further. How about, "Did you have fun at grandpas? I am so glad I made the effort to go, as it is important for you to get to know him for yourself." Children are very perceptive and no matter what you say to them, they will work out in the end just what grandpa is like.

Step two, Protect yourself - If you want to be praised for being a good parent, focus on the fact that you are. You are the first example of how others will treat you, so if you don't see it within yourself, then others won't either. Everyday write and say some affirmations that support what you desire, as in, "I am a wonderful parent, who is raising a wholesome child." "My parenting tactics are positively noticed by others and I am often used as a good example." "I have a healthy relationship with my mother in law."

Step three, Put the attention where it is needed - Make the visit or outing about the child. If hurtful comments come your way, positively divert the conversation and attention back onto your child. So when grandma says, "why do you dress Mia in that, she looks like a homeless child?" Instead of questioning your parenting abilities and becoming hurt, understand this is just her way. Then reply, "Mia has been having a wonderful day playing. Look, she's just built a castle out of the blocks, Mia, show grandma what you've made." When you leave, praise yourself for your efforts and if the situation got slightly out of hand, just take notice of the areas where things worked. For what you focus on, expands.

Children are little representations of all who are around them. Be the best example you can when it comes to your relationships with others. Your child is always watching, absorbing life and how it works. So create good relationship ideas for your child to hold and immerse yourself in the joy of having them yourself. Life truly is good ☺

Kate Filmer is a 30yrs young self help author and entrepreneur. She has owned multiple businesses and is the mother of two empowered young girls. Her methods in teaching others draw from her own life experience and from the blissful, clear connection she feels to The Energy That Is. Her passionate goal in life is to assist others to strive forward on their chosen path, with peace and enthusiasm. www.hiddenpath.com.au