It's been reported that the most popular question sent in by female readers to women's magazines is: "What do I have to do to have an orgasm during intercourse?" If you have asked yourself this question, you are not alone in fact over 70% of women never experience an orgasm through sexual intercourse regularly.

Now the question is....Why is it so common for women not to reach that level of bedroom bliss?

The answer partly lies in our societies attitude towards sex and learning. You see for most of us Sex Ed. was an embarrassing class in high school. But seriously, learning to put a condom on a banana aint going to help you achieve an orgasm! What we need is more ‘Sex Ed.' for adults don't we?

For some women, when in the right mood, a little self-touch will be all it takes to achieve an orgasm, but for others it might be a combination of intercourse and touching. And there are even women who don't touch at all and simply rubbing their legs together does the trick. Every woman is a little different and you need to create your own ‘Guide to Orgasms' ie. A sex manual that is all about you.

Please don't expect your husband to know exactly what to do afterall we are complex creatures. Here's a thought, imagine if there was a manual on women? How long would it be! (my husband says it would be worth reading only if it had lots of pictures!!! ;-)

The very best thing YOU can do is learn about your own sexual ‘likes' by touching yourself.  So many women feel awkward at even the mention of touching yourself but it really is the best way to find out what makes your body tick. Start off alone and really spend time touching and feeling the different sensations. Don't stress if nothing happens the first time. It might take many attempts but in the end you will be blissfully smiling! Once you do make those discoveries though, you can teach your husband and that can be incorporated into sexual intercourse.

Let's look at two key reasons why women find it hard to Orgasm:

Physical

For most men, orgasm is quite easily achieved, as the main source of their sexual pleasure is the penis.

For women, on the other hand it's not as simple. A women's main sexual organ is the clitoris. Unfortunately, it is not always in a position that gets stimulated by the penis during intercourse. So to combat that, you will often need to add some manual stimulation.

Don't be afraid to do the same touching you do when pleasuring yourself and add that during sexual intercourse. It is actually quite possible for ALL women to achieve orgasm. We all have the capacity to but it may mean you need to learn how.

SEX FACT: Your Clitoris actually has over 6000 nerve endings whilst a penis only has 4000! So get to know that little button.

Emotional

One of the complaints I hear from women is a sense of frustration when they see their partner is able to climax anytime, anywhere. Whilst for many women reaching an orgasm can be like climbing Everest!

It is not actually true that men can always climax easily. Some men have their own challenges with orgasms and generally if a man is not in the right headspace during sex he can lose the ability to orgasm as well.

Sex for women starts between the ears not between the legs!

In a committed relationship there is no rush and your sexual experience can be like a bottle of wine the older it gets the tastier it becomes. I encourage you to communicate with openness with your spouse, but this of course requires a trust in your relationship.

Sadly when women do not entirely trust their partners, even discussing sexual issues can become a problem. If a woman is not in a committed relationship she will fear that her partner will judge or ridicule her. Unfortunately some women will even choose to fake orgasms because they don't want to hurt or disclose the truth to their man.

With so many thoughts going through our heads, and distractions it is all too easy for many women to pull on the brakes by simply holding back during sex because they are not happy with their spouse or comfortable with themselves. During sex, if you find yourself thinking that ‘your tummy is too big' and wondering if your spouse is thinking the same, it can and will take away from the experience for both of you. I can assure you that in that moment he is definitely not thinking about the size of your stomach!

Whereas if during love making you think about NOTHING else except that moment, those feelings, and his touch, you will find a whole new level of intimacy.

Bottom line to achieve an orgasm you require the right mind set. Let's not forget that the most important sexual organ in our body is the brain. If it's not ready and willing for sexual bliss, it simply will not happen.

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