Although the comment was said in jest, I was still a little surprised at it and wondered when we'd gotten so passive about our lives.

• Surely just because some change occurs in your life, it doesn't automatically mean you're forced to settle for less elsewhere?
• Surely life hasn't become so linear that we can predict that because of one action, another one will occur?
• Are all our lives the same?
• Where does personal choice fit into all of this?

As we already know, everyone can only speak from their perspective and because something is true for you, doesn't mean it's true for me. My experience may be different especially if I exercise different choices. Different choices often come from different thoughts. I can appreciate your experience, learn what I need to from it but most importantly trust and empower myself with creating my own reality.

The creation process starts with you. You have the choice to change - even if it's just your thinking. And the power of changed thoughts can never be underestimated. The change in choice could be "Why would I moan about my husband instead of creating a different situation? Moaning about him won't actually change anything, despite possibly feeling better in the short-term. Perhaps I'll talk to him explaining how I feel."

The same thing also applies to other aspects of your life. If you're moaning about something, why not do something to change it? And once again, this may even be just your thinking or perception about it.

Once you've changed this, see what (if any) necessary action steps could accompany the new thought as well. This avoids the ongoing circle of discontentment that keeps people stuck.

• How many people do you know that moan about single but don't try internet dating, for example?
• How many people moan about not having money but find reasons not to change jobs or even get a job?
• How many people are overweight but prefer television to exercise?

Life is about choice and this includes love.

I've had clients excitedly state that a clairvoyant has told them they'd meet someone special soon. This gives them hope and they're naturally happy with that.
"What are you doing about creating this man you're going to meet?" I ask encouragingly.
"Uh. Nothing. But I know he's going to show up."
"What if he shows up at some or other social event, but you're not there?"
"Oh," a despondent voice responds.
"It may just be that you need to join some social or sporting clubs to get out there. Your soul mate may not actually coming knocking on your door," I explain feeling like a hope-slayer.

I see the same with money desires. You need to be actively involved in the money creation process, in one form or another. And these days we're lucky enough to be spoilt for choice with a variety of opportunities. It may just mean that you need to decide and try something. The network marketing industry is a great example of this. Those who are successful in this form of business are some of the hardest workers I've seen. They're engaged with the process heart and soul. The irony is that in order to create a passive-income you start off as being anything but passive.

Exercising choice includes the option to change your mind. It doesn't always serve you to make your decisions upfront either about how someone or something is going to turn out. Don't bargain on getting upset with your partner before it actually happens. It's also pointless to decide exactly and specifically what you want from a perfect partner. Don't decide what type of job you wouldn't be caught dead doing - ever. You don't know what you don't know. Decide instead to engage with your life. Live with passion and give things a go.

Never say never. Never say always. These are both lifetime commitments to limited thinking. Instead choose open-mindedness. Give yourself a choice. Give others a choice and most importantly, give your life a chance.

Heidi Cornelissen is a life coach based in Perth who specialises in personal freedom and authenticity. Her passion is helping you engage with who you really (authentically) are. This involves self-awareness, connection with- and ultimately loving who you are, without need for pretence.
For more information and resources, visit: www.completelyhuman.com