Resistance to a situation whatever it may be will serve only one purpose and that is keeping us exactly where we say we don't want to be. Let's look at weight loss, and all the messages and emotional baggage we have attached to our bodies. Obsession with body image in the past was mainly a past time attributed to the female of the species. It has now reached epidemic proportions, man, woman and child are concerned with their bodies. Industries generating millions of dollars have been created and are flourishing due to the fixation with what is WRONG with our bodies. We will go to any lengths to get our bodies to conform to the ‘ideal'. We exercise it, we massage it, we have fat sucked out of it and chemicals injected into it until it resembles the ‘ideal' that we are looking for. We spend a great deal of time and money trying to look like somebody else.

The reality for many is that satisfaction with our body image, is a bit like happiness, lasts for a little while and then quickly fades. So we start seeking the next treatment, eating plan or regime that will help us attain the perfect body. The opposite can also be true, after years of yo-yo dieting, our self esteem is so low that we have given up hope of ever seeing our waist lines again. We use our weight as a reason not to participate fully in our lives and our relationships, and we create behaviours which will mask the misery which comes from constantly rejecting the way we are and the consequences of our decisions.

Both scenarios are demonstrations of what can happen when we are out of balance and are occupying a space of rejecting who we are and the situation we have created. Health, diet and fitness are important. The body needs and deserves to be cared for. It needs to be loved. We run into trouble if we use these needs to punish ourselves. You know you are doing this by the quality of your thoughts and your words. When you are paid a compliment do you immediately reject it and also point out a flaw? When you exercise and eat are you doing it with a sense of joy and celebrating the process of honouring your body? Or are you doing what you SHOULD be doing and suffering every inch of the way?

When you eat are you enjoying the choice of nourishing foods and being present for every mouthful or are you focused on the next task? Are you restricting calories and celebrating what that will do for your overweight body or are you focusing on lack and deprivation? Are you sub-consciously sabotaging your efforts because you know you won't be happy when you reach your target anyway? Is your focus on your body and effort to control an aspect of your life because the rest of your life or parts of your life are causing distress. Are you using your body issues to focus on so you don't have to address another area of your life?

If we recognise the choice we have in every situation and our right to love ourselves unconditionally than there will be no ‘battle of the bulge', there will be no ‘pain is our friend'. We will not resist our bodies and speak unkindly to them as we realise they are exactly where they need to be in this point in time. They are the product of the past choices we have made. If they are larger or not as fit and firm as we would like them to be at this point in time than we can make different choices and lovingly bring them into alignment with what serves us. If we are unable to make those choices at this time than we can shift our gaze from our bodies to within and take the time to explore what is going on for us emotionally. Heal those and the body will happily co-operate.

Shelley Murphy is a Counsellor, Heal Your Life Workshop Leader, Angel Therapist, Reiki Master, Artist, and Writer who is passionate about personal empowerment. For more information email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or visit http://users.adam.com.au/buddha/healyourlife.htm